Doomed To Dream - Part 7

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

GC: W3LL W3LL W3LL 1F 1T 1SNT MY F4VOR1T3 COMTROLL ON TH3 WHOL3 OF B3FORUS! WH4T 4 SURPR1S3 TO S33 YOU H3R3

TA: of cour2e you 2ee me here iim alway2 here tz

TA: my work requiire2 me two  be plugged iin nearly all of the tiime

GC: SOLLUX L3TS NOT PR3T3ND TH4T YOUR3 ST1LL ONL1N3 B3C4US3 OF TH4T YOUR3 4BOUT 4S 4DD1CT3D TO YOUR CONN3CT1ON 4S 1 4M TO R3D B3RRY P13S

GC: YOU 4R3 QU1T3 LUCKY TH4T TH3R3 1S NOTH1NG ON TH3 BOOKS R3G4RD1NG OV3RUS3 OR 4BUS3 OF TH3 R3SOURC3S OF TH3 SYST3M OTH3RW1S3 1 M1GHT B3 FORC3D TO R3PORT YOU

TA: you wouldnt report me tz youd ju2t claiim pale priiviilege and wed get off wiith barely even a repriimand

GC: HMMM Y3S YOU DO H4V3 M3 TH3R3 4ND YOU KNOW HOW MUCH 1 H4T3 1T WH3N YOU QUOT3 PROP3R ST4TUT3S 4T M3

GC: 4ND BY H4T3 1 OF COURS3 M34N P1TY B3YOND 4NY R34L R34SON4BL3 PROPR13TY

TA: yeah yeah ii know youd even help me hiide the bodiie2 iif there were any

TA: you 2ay that all the tiime

GC: WO4H LOOKS L1K3 SOM3ON3 WOK3 UP ON TH3 TOT4LLY WRONG S1D3 OF TH3 SL4B TH1S 3V3N1NG

GC: 4ND BY WRONG S1D3 1 M34N ON TOP OF 4ND BY SL4B 1 M34N K3YBO4RD

TA: ii diidnt 2leep at my de2k thii2 morniing

GC: OBJ3CT1ON! TH3 D3F3ND4NT 1S OBV1OUSLY PR3S3NT1NG F4LS3 T3ST1MONY B3FOR3 TH3 COURT

TA: thii2 ii2nt a court tz. iit2 never a court wiill you ju2t lay off on that 2hiit? iit2 fuckiing annoyiing

GC: OH MY 1T S33MS W3 H4V3 4 B1T OF 4 PROBL3M H3R3

TA: ii have no clue what you mean

GC: SOLLUX YOUV3 B33N COMB4T1V3 THROUGH TH1S 3NT1R3 CONV3RS4T1ON 4ND 1 MUST S4Y TH4T 1 4M NOT 1MPR3SS3D

GC: YOU D1DNT T4K3 YOUR M3D1C4T1ONS TOD4Y D1D YOU?

TA: what are you my thiinkrapii2t?

GC: NO B3C4US3 1F 1 W4S TH3N YOU WOULD H4V3 H4D YOUR P1LLS TH1S 3V3N1NG 3V3N 1F 1 H4D B33N FORC3D TO SHOV3 TH3M DOWN YOUR THRO4T

TA: that ii2nt how thiinkrapii2t2 work

GC: 1 WOULD DO 1T POL1T3LY G33Z

TA: iim pretty 2ure there ii2nt a way two 2hove piill2 down 2omeone2 gullet poliitely

GC: 1 SUCC33D 4T 3V3RYTH1NG 1 PUT MY M1ND TO

TA: not everythiing

GC: TH4T 1S 1T SOLLUX 1 4M NOT T4K1NG TH1S FROM YOU 4NY MOR3 1 D3M4ND YOU STOP TRY1NG TO 4VO1D T4LK1NG TO M3 4ND YOU PLOP YOUR BONY S1T M34T DOWN ON 4 P1L3 4ND 4CTU4LLY T4LK TO M3

TA: 1) we are talkiing 2) my 2iit meat ii2 not bony

GC: 4LL OF YOU 1S BONY SOLLUX M4K3S YOU T3RR1BL3 1N 4 P1L3

TA: 2ay2 the troll that ii2 liiterally all 2harp corner2 and 2harper horn2

GC: NOT TH1S 4G41N 1 OBJ3CT! YOU 4BSOLV3D M3 OF 4NY WRONG DO1NG 1N TH3 S1TU4T1ON TO WH1CH YOU 4R3 4LLUD1NG

TA: your horn2 2cratched my favoriite 2hade2 up

GC: TH3 D3F3NS3 HOLDS TH4T NO L4ST1NG D4M4G3 W4S DON3 TO YOUR P3RSON 4ND TH4T YOU W3R3 4LSO R3SPONS1BL3 FOR S3V3R4L BRU1S3S ON MY P3RSON TH4T N1GHT

TA: we were really 2hiitty piiler2 then werent we?

GC: 4LL TH1NGS COM3 W1TH T1M3 4ND PR4CT1C3 SOLLUX

TA: a2 iif ii dont know that my2elf

GC: 4ND W3 W1LL N3V3R B3COM3 TRULY GOOD 4T B31NG MO1R41LS 1F YOU R3FUS3 TO SP3ND P1L3 T1M3 W1TH M3

TA: becau2e iit really count2 a2 piiliing when were half a planet apart only talkiing through trolliian

GC: SOLLUX 1 ONC3 4G41N D3M4ND TH4T YOU 4PP34S3 BOTH OF OUR N33DS FOR P4L3 T1M3 YOU G3T TO YOUR P1L3!

TA: iim not cliimbiing ontwo that 2harp cornered thiing for your 2iilly iin2ii2tence that we can only do thii2 properly iif were on actual piile2

GC: SOLLUX PL34S3 YOU N33D TH1S 1T 1S SO CL34R TH4T TH3 B3ST TH1NG FOR 31TH3R OF US 1N TH1S S1TU4T1ON 1S TO R34LLY T4LK YOU KNOW WH4T W3 N33D SOLLUX YOU KNOW 1T PL34S3

User twinArmageddons has gone idle.

GC: SOLLUX...

User twinArmageddons has gone idle.

GC: 1 4M NOT GO1NG TO ST4ND 4ROUND W41T1NG FOR YOU FOR3V3R

TA: 2et up the audiio vii2ual 2y2tem ii taught you how two u2e

TA: iill 2tart the connectiion once iive got everythiing 2et up on my 2iide

GC: P3RF3CT!

twinArmageddons [TA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

GC: <>

gallowsCalibrator [GC] ceased trolling twinArmageddons [TA]


There was never any real point with arguing with Terezi. Sollux had learned that multiple times over the two years they had sat in this quadrant. When she wanted something, she pushed until she got it, especially when it was for his benefit. Which it usually was. Sure, sometimes all she wanted was to discuss the finer points of a case, but she always thanked him when he gave her a perspective that she hadn't previously had. But when it came down to it, Terezi was a good moirail, and even when he was in as bad of a mood as he was—and it wasn't because he was off of his medication—he knew it was best to let her have her way. So, with a sigh and a rolling of his eyes, he grabbed his spare husktop out of its place in his desk, grabbed the few cords he'd need to get the connection set up stable enough to handle the data load this always put on the old thing, and shuffled his way over to the 'pile' in the corner of his room.

It wasn't much of a pile in the traditional sense of things. Most trolls made theirs out of comfortable things. Blankets, pillows, stuffed toys, clothes they had grown out of, and other things along those lines. Sollux, though, wasn't the kind of troll who kept a pile ready in his room. All he had was a mound of old, broken down parts for his husktops, computer, and apiculture systems. It wasn't comfortable, it wasn't attractive, it wasn't even a real pile by any measure. Still, it was something. Not that he was going to use it how it was right now. After setting the husktop to the side and starting it into the process that would set up a secure line for the connection, Sollux moved to his slab, pulled off the warmth clothing from the top, and settled it on top of the pile for some semblance of comfort. Then he added one last touch: a solid white scalemate with red buttons for eyes that Terezi had named Pyrali after her guardian and had given him as her first pale gift. It had been an awkward exchange, there on Sollux's last day at the training institution they had met at. A whole dark season spent together—or near enough after Sollux had transferred out of his assigned respite block due to a fight with his block mate—and when Sollux was packed and prepared to leave and never see her again, Terezi had grabbed his hand, kissed him on the forehead, and then forced Pyrali into his arms. The favorite toy of her wigglerhood, given to him freely. All he'd been able to do was stare at her for a while, then reach into his bag to haul out his own wigglerhood toy: a silly looking stuffed buzzbeast that had helped him through the first manifesting of his ability. Without Terezi here in the pile, Pyrali was the best stand in that he could manage.

“So are you going to sit down or not?”

Sollux flinched as Terezi's voice cut into the otherwise silent air of the room. Apparently things had apparently connected a lot faster than he'd wanted to expected.

“Give me a minute here,” he grumbled, shuffling over to the pile.

“I'll even be so kind as to give you four and thirteen seconds.”

Again Sollux rolled his eyes. He'd never really understood what his moirail had with those numbers, but she'd never really understood his whole duality thing. There were just things that even moirails couldn't wrap their pans around and didn't try to. It was far easier to just accept and support your moirail than to try to get too deeply wrapped up in their neuroses.

“You're so generous,” he said, half mocking, as he moved to settle himself down on the pile. Oddly enough, after a bit of shifting and shuffling around it almost felt right to be there, perched atop the mound of electronics. Mostly it was because there were sharp corners everywhere. The edge of a resistor grid pressing hard into his leg felt like the sharpness of the edge of the couch they used to claim at the institution. The pointed tip of a busted invert wire, slightly cushioned by the blanket, felt a bit like Terezi poking him in the back with her carefully sharpened claws. It made him think of Terezi so much that he shifted from sitting to actually lying down on the pile, Pyrali on his chest, a set of old monitors cradling his head as if they were Terezi's bony legs.

“All comfy?”

“It's sharp and uncomfortable, just like you,” he teased, before twisting in place to grab his husktop. It gained a position on top of what was likely a few discarded boxes from dough-with-grub-sauce-and-grub pie. There was a moment of tilting and fiddling with his speakers and husktop screen so that it looked like his moirail was looking down on him. So it felt like he was resting his head in her lap, her sharp cornered face staring down at him. If he closed his eyes, just for a moment, it almost felt like he was there, her fingers combing through his hair, rubbing soothingly around the base of his horns to drive off the worst of a psionic pan spasm. Back then, in the institution, she'd been there for him, been supportive of him for all of the fact that he hadn't known how to handle it. Sure, his guardian had always told him that he'd find someone like that, who'd care for him through everything, and all of it had come true in Terezi. Maybe she had been right about this. He needed to be here, now, listening to her soothing, cackling voice, looking up at the slightly fuzzy image of his moirail looking down at him.

Terezi had changed over the years, not that Sollux hadn't himself. Her ever present crimson sunglasses were off, meaning Sollux could see the richness of her teal blood really starting to fill in her eyes. There had only been flecks of the color when they'd met, and now there were barely any flecks of black left. Yet as beautiful as it was, she looked tired. There was a shadow of darker, grayer teal under her eyes, probably part of the reason she wore shades. His eyes were also drawn, rather easily, to a bruise that took up most of the rigth side of her jaw. Clear signs that her black romance was still alive. But beyond that, she looked healthy, looked happy, looked relieved to see him.

“See, now that is the Sollux I was looking to see,” Terezi laughed, shaking her head. “Where have you been these last few perigees?”

“At my computer,” he countered, shaking his head. “Where else would I be?”

“Sleeping,” Terezi countered. “And don't say you have been. You wouldn't even believe the shadows under your eyes. You look like one of your computation systems. Red, blue and yellow.”

“What?” Sollux asked, almost sitting up.

“I told you, you haven't been on your medication for a bit.”

“I...”

“Don't lie to me, Sollux. This legisticator can smell lies. Plus you're starting to go blue and red around the edges.”

“I'm what?”

“Really, you haven't noticed it before? When you aren't on your pills your eyes change.”

“Don't pull my leg on this, TZ.”

“Remember that week where you ran out of monotrilic at the institution? Before your guardian got you another bottle? Whenever you got mad there were red and blue sparks around your head, and your eyes started to glow those colors. And even when you weren't mad your eyes were slowly going red and blue. It isn't as bad now, but you're just the littlest bit red and blue at the edges. Sollux, you need to get back on your medications.”

“I don't want to talk about this, TZ. Please. Can we just talk about something else? Like... What about that bruise of yours?”

The concerned look so plainly written on his moirail's face that even a blind troll could have seen it melted away so quickly that he would have thought it an ice block out in the morning sun. Her concerned frown spread into a viscous, sharp toothed grin, a gleaming, predatory look taking over the whole of her face. It was almost amazing just how well the bruise along her jaw seemed to compliment her grin, almost made it seem all the more cruel. The part of Sollux that had been outraged to see her hurt loved the way it made his moirail look: competent, powerful, and uncompromising.

“I managed to catch the addlepan off guard when he was on his way back from his work. Apparently he doesn't much appreciate it when someone points out that his grin makes him look like he had his pan fried by the noon sun.”

Sollux just shook his head, smiling to himself. “So it's going well then? The black romance?”

With that the grin fell, replaced by Terezi shaking her head and sighing. So it was going to be another one of these conversations. They happened a little too often these perigees. Too much of having to see her hurt by the trolls she wanted in her quadrants for his tastes. Terezi deserved better than what she was getting.

“It is too difficult to deal with a troll who is almost always around his moirail or matesprit. When he isn't at work he's either with Karkles or that thinkrapist. How is a troll supposed to get black with their kismesis if they can't get them alone? I'm really close to volunteering for another cycle with the guidance adjustors to steal some...”

“Don't,” Sollux cut her off, raising a hand to rub Pyrali's head as he would Terezi's were he there with her. “The worst thing you could do for your black romance is get yourself into a situation like that. You know it won't work out. Workplace pitch romance requires that both parties have a chance to spend time apart, you know that. Otherwise you'll spend too much time attacking each other, letting your rivalry get in the way of your work. It wouldn't just get him fired, but it could get you kicked out of the legistitcation program in your final sweep, or worse, earning you a bad review.”

That got a small chuckl from Terezi. “You're right, of course, and you've even got your priorities straight. But that doesn't make it any easier. I mean, how on Beforus am I supposed to show my disdain for this laid back, hopeful attitude he's developed since he's won safety for Karklese? You'd think that he didn't see hard luck cases every day that need his help. The number of warm bloods that pass through the offices that have suggested histories of...”

“I know,” Sollux said, shooshing her with a look. “Trust me, I know the statistics in the capital. Or at least the suspected statistics.”

“Still keeping to those conspiracy sites of yours?”

“Of course. What else would I do with my day? It's too fucking boring out here to do anything else. Anyway, it's clear that you two need some real time to deal with things. What you need is a hate date.”

The grin was back, this time accompanied by a narrowing of eyes that Sollux knew to be the look Terezi got when someone was offering her a particularly fun idea. “Hate date? And how would you suggest I achieve this when he's so commonly around his moirail or matesprit?”

“In the most traditional sense, of course. Abduct him after work.”

There was a positive look of hunger in Terezi's eyes then. A longing to do something, though Sollux wasn't sure what. Or that he wanted to know. He had never really understood the black romance between Terezi and her kismesis. Apparently it had formed at first because of both of them being interested in the crimson blood Terezi had grown up with, but it had changed since the kismesis had won the crimson for his flushed quadrant. Since then Terezi had been all over the 'clown' for his far too positive outlook on life, his refusal to dedicate himself to more active attempts to act against the hierarchists that Terezi and Sollux were both certain were trying to come to power in the capital, and for his laid back personality that acted as if everything in the world would set itself to rights on its own. From what Sollux understood the outlook was based, in part, on the fact that the cold blood had some rather serious rage issues, and it always worried him that his moirail was trying to hit that black, trying to draw that fury out of her kismesis. If it wasn't for the fact that he was fully confident in Terezi's ability to take care of herself, he might have been worried.

“Now mister bright eyes, we both know that grabbing a troll and taking them somewhere against their will is a criminal offense.”

“Unless they are your confirmed kismesis,” Sollux countered, knowing she would appreciate him trotting out the pitch laws. “Then it is perfectly fine for you to abscond with them for a maximum of three cycles at a time, unless they break your quadrant. So do it. Gather information as to when he is working, select a likely location on his path back from work, and grab him. He's got the strength, but you've got the cunning.”

“You really think it would work?”

“Just remember to go for the knees,” Sollux said. “That will take down pretty much any troll bigger than you.”

“Sollux, I'm the one that taught you that. Don't think you've got something to teach the master.”

“Except for the things that can't be taught,” he agreed, making sure to let just the smallest crack of psionic energy light up around his horns to let her know what he meant.

“Show off,” she laughed, shaking her head. “It's not like you use that anyway.”

“If I had a cold blood kismesis it would be ideal for keeping my control of any situation.”

“Granted,” she agreed. “And speaking of your quadrants...”

No, that was not something Sollux was getting into right now. There were more important things. Like this Vriska Serket. He had to know something about her, and he knew from experience that once they got onto the topic of Waleti, Terezi wasn't going to let it go without a kind of fight that Sollux really wasn't in the mood for right now.

“How goes your auspitice?”

That stopped her in her tracks. One of the things Terezi wasn't as comfortable talking about was what had happened with Karkat and Vriska. Problem was that this Karkat used to be something that she talked about all the time. The crimson blood that she was flushed for. Since Vriska's pushing them into the ashen quadrant, though, things had changed. She hadn't talked about the night where Karkat had finally snapped and stepped in to auspitize for them. When he had kept them from devolving into not only pitch, but somewhere beyond that.


“I don't want to talk about it.”

“That isn't what moirallegience is about,” Sollux pointed out, sighing. “It's about being open, right?”

“Sollux, please.”

“Then at leas tell me how things are going with the other part of that quadrant...”

“Fuck Vriska,” Terezi snapped. “If it wasn't for Karkat I'd find something to bring her up for before the legisticative councils. Maybe even the Legirule...”

“That seems a bit far,” Sollux said, frowning. “What has she done to...”

“She's a hierarchist sympathizer. Have you heard about her production facility? Of course you haven't. She does her best to undermine her employees whenever she can, within the rules. Her plant manager is her and Karkat's former wardmate, Remium Olisar. He has to work unreasonably long hours for far too little pay. The few warm bloods that work for her in drone guidance and maintenance are denied hours long enough for suitable bodily care plans. There are some pretty reasonable rumors that she even only worked against her guardian for the sake of gaining control of his holdings. I can't even understand it. When she was raised in a situation where she couldn't help but see how poorly her wardmates were treated, how could she act like this? I can't even blame Mister Zahhak for going black for her. “

“Zahhak? You mean the Heiress's matesprit?”

“The same. Apparently he's trying to push his matesprit to an investigation of her. Not that it's going over well. The Heiress is fond of the way she stood up and encouraged her wardmates to speak out against their situation at long last...”

That made things more complicated, but Sollux wasn't entirely sure it was a bad sign for him. After all, even Terezi admitted that Vriska had been instrumental for the relief of Karkat and this Remium's oppression. But if she was a hierarchist sympathizer... No, Sollux wasn't sure what to think, but he knew he still had to act.

“Anyway, just stay away from Vriska if you ever come out here for a visit.”

“I'll keep that in mind for my coming trip.”

“Trip?” Terezi asked, brightening instantly. “You're coming to the capital? Oh Sollux, that's so wonderful! When are you coming? You're going to have to spend at least two days with me, you know that, right? We're going to watch Beforus 5-0, oh and let's not forget Directed Application of Force. We'll also, of course, have all the best meals from the best eateries I know...”

“Sounds like fun,” Sollux laughed, even though he knew she couldn't hear him. Terezi just kept plowing on, her eyes wide and her grin beautifully perfect for her face.

“ And of course we'll have to go back to our project regarding Directed Application. We left off, what, somewhere in the middle of season 2? I need you here to really appreciate it. I don't know what is reasonable skill for this Harson's code slinging. And I'm sure you don't fully understand the complexities of the fallacies that Soffie and Nithan sling around. I think we've also learned enough now to try discussing systems that could be put into place to foil the team, or maybe get evidence to catch them...”

“We tried that once, Terezi. It was always the same answer relying on active code slingers and smarter, less gullible individuals.”

“Now that is a defeatist attitude that I will not accept from you, my golden friend! And it wouldn't be here if you were back on your...”

“TZ, I can't. You need to understand that. I have to do this, I have to be able to protect my guardian. I told you about my dream...”

“Sollux...”

“No, dammit, let me finish. You don't even understand this, TZ. My dreams aren't suggestions, they are warnings. I hear, I see, the future, and though I've told you that, you don't quite accept what it means. They are coming for Cyclos. I don't know who, I just know they are and that I won't let them hurt him. If it takes using my power to protect him, to keep him safe, then I'm going to do it no matter the cost.”

“Do you not remember how much those pan spasms hurt you back at the institution? You weren't even using your power much then. Just moments here and there when you needed to. What do you expect is going to happen if you try to turn yourself to stronger uses? You could turn your pan into jelly.”

“That isn't how it works,” he sighed. “It's like a muscle, Terezi. If I don't use it, it gets weak and hurts when you try to use it again. I have to work at it or I'll be useless when I really need to use it. When his life is going to need it to be there.”

“Do you really think I'm not hurt by this hierarchists? These are people who say that my moirail is inferior, that I shouldn't care about you like I do. Can you even believe that? How can you say that I'm not hurt by them when they've hurt Karkles, or if they hurt you? It affects me because it affects Beforus, Sollux. And because of that, because you're so certain that you need this, I'm going to look into the legistication files related to hierarchist group activities or cells in your area or the capital. I can't promise it will help you, but maybe it will give you people to watch out for. For Cyclos's sake as much as for your own.”

“Thank you, TZ. It's more than Waleti is...”

“And speaking of,” Terezi said, grinning almost lecherously at him, “how is the, in your words, 'breath taking, pusher aching, pan addling beauty' that is your captain?”

“It isn't polite to tease people about their flush crushes,” he countered.

“I put up with you on Karkles. I'm more than allowed to push you on this. How is tall, stoic, and indigo?”

Sollux sighed and stared up at the ceiling rather than look at his moirail. Because the problem was that he wanted to talk about it. Wanted to speak about how beautiful she had been in that moment when he'd stood in the office door, her hair falling in her face. Tell her about Waleti's urging him to take care of himself, her promise to try to help... about how he wasn't sure what it meant. About how he thought maybe she cared, maybe if he wasn't a comtroll serving under her. How more than once he thought maybe he should ditch for the private sector in the hopes that he could win her.

“She's beautiful,” he breathed out at last, knowing he was going to get into this conversation whether he wanted it or not. And maybe, just maybe, he needed it.